Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged – We Don’t Need Your Seal Of Approval
Posted on Saturday, June 23rd, 2012
She’d be cute if she just…
It doesn’t matter what the end of that sentence is. It hurts. Growing up, we’ve all been judged. We were too thin, too fat, too short, too tall. Our legs weren’t long enough, our hair wasn’t thick enough, our nose wasn’t pert enough. We were too loud, too quiet, too bold, too timid. If our teeth were straighter, if our bodies were curvier, then, oh then, we’d be… what? Approved?
Being picked apart and judged is something that seems to have become acceptable. In this day and age of pundits and celebrity-studded newsrooms, it appears that opinion rules. Maybe it’s what happens when we all have the ability to instantly spew venom without thought. With just a few clicks of a keyboard you can lambast anyone for anything, and the ugly just gets uglier.
Enter Paula Deen.
Judging a person’s appearance has always irked me. You might say it is one of my core issues. So something snapped when I read the mean, hurtful, and downright ugly things people were saying about Paula Deen, the wildly popular Southern celebrity chef.
Ms. Deen cooks up a storm of food that is often buttery, sugary, and full of bacon or other some-such fat. She fries it up, smothers it in gravy, and serves up big portions. I get it. This is not how you should really eat every day, and Ms. Deen has said as much. But, it looks great on television and is fun to watch.
The trouble began when Ms. Deen announced that she had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. Well, you’d think the poor woman was an ax murderer the way some of the talking-heads and social-media mavens reacted. They proclaimed that Paula Deen was almost single-handedly responsible for all the Type 2 diabetes in the nation.
Of course, it can’t stop there. You may not agree with her cooking style. You may not think it was wise to wait three years to make her announcement. But, when did it become okay to pick apart her appearance, her weight, even her buxom figure in an attempt to make her into some evil witch spreading diabetes across the land? Beware the ample-bosomed, full-figured woman, especially if she’s in the kitchen. She may want to smother you with her cupcakes.
Then along came Ashley Judd.
When Ashley Judd was attacked in broad daylight, no one in the media seemed to notice. Why didn’t the media report this particular attack? Because they were the attackers. This woman’s body was legally, and with some flourish, pulled apart at the seams. Ms. Judd’s body was being dissected.
Ms. Judd has certainly taken her share of abuse before, being in the glare of the spotlight. Until this attack, she has chosen to ignore the ugly things said about her. But this was different. Perhaps it was time to fight back. Perhaps even the speculation about a person’s appearance is pure and simple objectification. And when does objectification of our bodies lead to losing our very being?
Why should Ms. Judd’s appearance, her face, her body, be analyzed by anyone? If they pick her body apart, will they reach a decision as to her worth? Is her person-hood worth whatever her physical attributes can bring on the auction block? When does speculation about a person’s body crossover to a place we don’t want to go? “She’d be of more value if she just…” If she just what?
When will people stop feeling the need to give the ‘seal of approval’ to a woman based on her weight, her skin, her hair, her nose, her age, her breasts, or any part of her body? Can women please just BE without your approval?
A blogger compatriot of mine wrote; “I often wondered why I was always deemed the sensitive one, but no one ever called them insensitive.”
Well, I’m calling them insensitive now. Not only insensitive, abusive.
Every woman, private or public, has the right to be who she is without anyone speculating or judging her appearance. Young or old, big or small, we all live in our body and skin, and it’s no one’s business but our own.
In other words, keep your opinions and your speculations to yourself.
Lest ye be judged.
p.s. You can read another one of my rants regarding the treatment of Ashley Judd, and the subsequent media slap-down, at VibrantNation.com
p.p.s. Did you say you were in the mood for another rant? Here’s another one of mine on a similar topic entitled Beyond Buxom Beauties – What Does Aging Well Mean
p.p.p.s. The debate continues… Be sure to take a look at this post by Chloe Jeffreys of GenerationFabulous.com. It’s hard to discuss body image without discussing how bodies look. It is the sad truth. Click on and read: Chasing Youth or Aging Gracefully?
Please share your thoughts with me. I really do want to hear from you. Just scroll down and comment in the box below. Thank you for reading!
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I once had a friend tell me that another friend said (about me): “Barbara would be really cute if she would fix herself up.” And I thought I was fixed up, in an easygoing way! That was twenty years ago, and it still hurts/annoys me. First that someone said that, and second that a friend told me she said it.
GRRR…..to picking people apart.
GRRR is right. Thanks, Barbara, for sharing. When you think of the, what, 5 or 6 seconds it took to say that, you’ve got to wonder if she’ll wish she had that time back someday, maybe to say something useful, or at least kind.
Core issue of mine with a history of stories too numerous to mention here. Let’s just say women are not born with body image problems and my ex-husband is ex for these reasons, along with others. But that’s a story for another time…
Thanks again for stopping by, reading, and commenting. You know I always love your company, Barbara!
I agree we shouldn’t judge people but there are some that bring it upon themselves by the extremes that they present. That is…. their clothes, hair, tattoos, lack of social manners, in your face attitude, foul language,etc., etc. etc. There are some people that get what they deserve and need no sympathy.
Thanks, Jack, for reading and sharing your thoughts. Yes, there are the extremes that cause a double-take. These are the ‘add-ons’ usually (not body types) that are meant to attract attention. Like you said, the tattoos. We’re supposed to look and know something about that person based on their choice of tattoo style, etc. And foul language speaks volumes about a person’s ignorance, at least in my opinion. And lack of social manners definitely begs our attention. So, yes. Picking someone apart about their body is different than noticing someone for their tattoos, clothing, and foul language.
Thanks again for taking time to read and comment. I appreciate it.
My best friend in high school was grossly overweight but one of the nicest people you could ever know. I hurt for her many times. Most people treated her well but every once in a while she was a target. Sometimes I yelled at them or pointed out their faults when they did it but sometimes I wasn’t there. Very sad.
Thank you, Kate, for sharing your thoughts. You’re right – very sad. It hurts to see people ostracized because they are seen as ‘less’ than other people based on… what? Weight? Wealth? Beliefs? Clothing? Color? Abilities? So very sad. Thank you again, Kate, for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
I think it’s ironic that some of the women that are perceived to be “beautiful” in Hollywood, look God-awful without all that make-up on.
I too noticed the change in Ashley Judd recently. However it never occurred to me to be judgmental about it. People age, people change, such is life. Those who can’t understand that are unimportant anyway.
Thanks, Michele, for stopping by and commenting. Such is life is right. And you’re also right about the unimportant people. Hot air bags. I think in today’s world of Twitter and Facebook and Blogs and 24 hour TV, there’s just a lot of space to fill. Guilty as charged. I’ve shared my opinion more than I probably need to. But… I try not to join a feeding frenzy about someone’s appearance. It’s a core issue with me since my appearance has been subjected to scrutiny and opinion by some really mean and stupid people during my life. Yup. Hot button.
I did post a while back about tattoos, but I don’t believe people who get tattoos are doing anything wrong or that tattoos are stupid or ugly. If I was brave enough, I might even get one. However, young people just have to be aware of what happens, really happens, to their skin when they get old. I hope no one sees that as passing judgement on anyone. It’s just a cautionary tale.
So, again, thank you, Michele, for reading and sharing your thoughts. I sure appreciate you!